


Darcy Takes a Fall for the Greater Good

by megster



Series: In These Small Hours [10]
Category: Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:06:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megster/pseuds/megster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a pool, and a truly impressive tower of fruit, and your average idiotic Hollywood extras shoving people into the water. Pool parties are rarely a good idea, especially when the Avengers are involved. Darcy tries to tell them this, but they never listen.</p>
<p>Also, Natasha is surprisingly protective of Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Takes a Fall for the Greater Good

**Author's Note:**

> Just a reminder that the stories in this series are not in any sort of chronological order... So in this one, Bruce and Darcy probably haven't gotten together yet. Also, I'm definitely still working on my slightly more massive and plot-oriented WIP... I just thought something a little shorter and more lighthearted was in order. Because I love writing Darcy and her misadventures.

“No,” Darcy says. “You have got to be kidding me. That is one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard, and keep in mind how much time I spend in Tony’s workshop.”

“It’s for charity. It’ll be good PR,” Pepper says, but she sounds like she’s trying to convince herself. “And you’ll be there, and I’ll be there, and so will Phil.”

“Who the fuck has charity pool parties?!” Darcy says, because seriously, that shouldn’t be a thing.

Pepper just shrugs.

“Not a good idea,” Darcy reiterates, because the Avengers and large social functions do not particularly go together.

“Natasha and Steve always behave,” Pepper says, ever optimistic. “And so does Bruce.”

“But that leaves us with Clint and Tony and Thor,” Darcy says, knowing she’s whining but not particularly caring. “ _And a pool_.”

“Well,” Pepper says, “Yes, the pool is a concern for me, too.”

They look at each other for a moment.

“Tell me why Malibu was a good idea, again?” Darcy says, sighing.

*          *          *

“I like swimming,” Natasha says, showing a few too many teeth with her smile.

“You like murdering people underwater,” Darcy says. “That’s not _swimming_. Anyway, you’re not really supposed to be in the water. There will be a pool, but you don’t have to use it.”

Natasha takes pity on her, obviously seeing the strain in her eyes, and says, “I’ll behave. I’ll even be nice to the hosts. And I won’t say anything to the media.”

“You weren’t my concern,” Darcy says.

They’re sitting in one of Tony’s living rooms- the Malibu mansion has at least three that Darcy’s been in, and she’s sure there’s more. Natasha has helped herself to some vodka, and Darcy has been tasting various microbrews for the past hour.

Just the thought of the Avengers attending a high society pool party has reduced Darcy to drinking. She needs to stop hanging out with Tony.

*          *          *

“Is it sad that we regularly fight intergalactic creatures on a regular basis, but attending a pool party is weird?” Clint is amused by the situation more than anything, but _he’s_ not the one who has to deal with the media fallout every time one of the Avengers twitches.

“Very sad,” Phil agrees absentmindedly. 

“On the bright side,” Clint says, grinning, “You’ll get to see me with my shirt off.”

“I see you with your shirt off every night,” Phil says, unimpressed.

“Point.”

*         *         *

When Darcy tells Steve about the party, he sort of lets out a sigh, but agrees to go, because it’s true- it’s good PR for the team. Makes them seem more approachable to the public. More relatable.

“Sorry,” Darcy says, meaning it. She knows he hates being paraded around- it reminds him of the USO days. His dancing monkey days, as he refers to them.

Steve shrugs. “It’s all right,” he says. “I mean, one pool party. What’s the worst that could happen?”

There’s a pause as they consider everything that could go wrong with the Avengers team. At a party with reporters and Hollywood’s elite. And alcohol. 

“I cannot believe you said that,” Darcy says. 

“Me either,” Steve agrees, rubbing the bridge of his nose with one hand. “I regret saying that. In fact, I retract that statement entirely.”

*          *          *

Tony is entirely nonchalant when Darcy lets him know about it. 

“J.A.R.V.I.S., write it into my calendar,” he says, not even looking up from his holographic schematics of Clint’s latest wingsuit.

“It’s already been scheduled, sir,” J.A.R.V.I.S. says.

“Darcy, have you been scheduling things behind my back again?” Tony doesn’t sound terribly concerned.

“I think it was Pepper,” Darcy says, and hightails it out of the workshop before Tony can change his mind about attending.

*         *         *

“Oh my gods,” Jane says excitedly. “Do you think Neil Patrick Harris will be there? I love Neil Patrick Harris.”

Darcy can’t hide a smile. “I don’t know, but I _need_ you to go and make sure Thor doesn’t break too many things.”

“Lady Darcy, I have not broken any important items in nearly a fortnight,” Thor protests, but doesn’t seem too bothered. He’s lying with his head in Jane’s lap, though, and nothing really bothers him when she’s braiding his hair.

They both agree to come to the party; really, Darcy doesn’t give them much of a choice. But Thor will have fun, because Thor always has fun, and it does Jane good to try and socialize with people other than scientists once in a while.

*          *           *

Unsurprisingly, Bruce takes the longest time to convince. He cites the usual reasons- doesn’t like crowds, dangerous, etc.

Darcy pointedly ignores him, wheedles and whines and cajoles and bullies him until he rolls his eyes to heaven and says, “ _Fine_ , I’ll be there.”

“I knew you would,” she says, smug.

He just shakes his head wearily.

The next morning, she takes him a cup of his favorite tea- a peace offering. He’s not one to hold grudges, so he takes it, and ten minutes later, follows her back up to make omelettes, so she figures she’s forgiven.

*          *          *

“Actually,” Darcy says, sipping at a peach sangria, “This isn’t terrible.”

“It really isn’t,” Pepper says, sounding as if she can’t believe it.

It’s a gorgeous day, and Thor hasn’t broken anything yet, and Clint hasn’t started throwing straws at starlets, and Tony hasn’t even offended any reporters.

Even Bruce has begun to relax, although Darcy suspects that’s because Steve’s been more or less glued to his side.

“It’s sort of cool,” Darcy admits, because there’s a certain otherworldly quality to watching several Academy Award winners casually stroll by. (She inwardly chuckles at herself, because Asgardian sea monsters are old hat, and regular old movie stars have her speechless.)

“It’s totally cool,” Jane says, dipping her toes into the pool. It’s a very nice pool.

“I want some watermelon,” Pepper says suddenly.

Watermelon. That sounds good. “I’ll get some,” Darcy offers, getting to her feet.

So she’s at the extravagant fruit display (seriously, she’s pretty sure she’s never even heard of some of the fruits laid out, and she’s gone grocery shopping with Bruce) when there’s an almighty splash. 

She turns, grinning, to see who’s been pushed into the pool this time. The smile is wiped off her face when Tony rises to the surface of the water, gasping for breath and eyes huge. Two blonde women- Darcy thinks that maybe one of them is in some band- are giggling.

Tony stays in the water, with a blank look on his face, and Steve comes out of nowhere and jumps into the pool. Jesus Christ, this is turning into a debacle, and why exactly did she think things were going to go well?

She’s trying to think how to make this less of a scene, because there’s obviously some PTSD shit going on here with Tony, and the _last_ thing they want is media coverage of this, when someone shoves her into the fruit table.

She goes into the display with a truly impressive crash, the table getting knocked over and the glass tray tower tumbling to the ground. 

Instantly, all eyes are on her. Clint is moving smoothly away, as if he _didn’t_ just humiliate her in front of everyone at the party. “Fucking _asshole_ ,” she mutters to herself, but figures that he did it for the greater good, and doesn’t really take it to heart.

“Oh my goodness, sweetheart, are you okay?” Some random lady with really gorgeous hair is bending over her.

“Um,” she says, realizing the need to keep everyone’s attention. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Natasha stalking over to the pool, her face curiously devoid of emotion. Uh-oh. Natasha is weirdly protective of Tony. Phil had better get over there.

In a moment of either stupidity or extreme selflessness, she deliberately jabs her hand into the broken glass. “I’m bleeding,” she says, real tears leaking from her eyes. Damn, that hurts. 

“You poor thing,” another random lady says. Darcy thinks that maybe she’s in some TBS sitcom. “Here, let’s get a first aid kit. Do you want to go to the hospital?”

“No,” Darcy says, sniffling. “I’ll be okay.” There’s still a crowd around her, and nobody around the Avengers, who have all kind of converged around Tony.

The lady-who’s-possibly-on-a-TBS-show ignores her and calls the ambulance anyway.

Darcy’s fuming as she’s told to sit on the gurney, because seriously, this shit was not in the job description.  

Every reporter at the party is taking pictures of her, and Darcy thinks bitterly that at least their ploy had worked, because she’d be pissed if she was sitting in a pile of fruit with a bleeding hand and there were _still_ reporters on Tony’s ass.

Her phone beeps, and she pulls it out with her uninjured hand. 

_Sorry._ From Clint, of course.

_Fuck you_ , she replies. Then, _Keep me posted on Tony. One of you idiots better come pick me up from the hospital._

_I’ll send Bruce_ , comes the answer immediately.

A paramedic asks her to please put her phone away and then asks to take her blood pressure.

Darcy sighs and acquiesces. That’s it. No more charity pool parties. Ever.

She viciously thinks of how good it will feel to tell Pepper “I told you so.”

Jane appears on the scene unexpectedly. “Figured I’d ride with you,” she says cheerfully. 

“Ma’am, you shouldn’t be in this vehicle,” a paramedic says.

Jane looks at him pleadingly.

“All right,” he says, because nobody, especially those of the opposite gender, can resist Jane’s please-let-me face for long.

“I was going to kick your ass if you didn’t show up,” Darcy says conversationally.

Jane perches on the side of the gurney. “Of course you were,” she says soothingly.

*          *          *

As soon as he sees Tony hit the water, Phil is cursing to himself. Any idiot ought to know that Tony being forcefully submerged in water, no matter how playfully, is _not_ okay.

He watches Tony come up, sees the panic in his eyes, and when Steve jumps into the water, Phil gracefully extricates himself from the conversation he’s having with several moderately well-known directors and makes his way over to the situation.

His mind is flicking through ways to create a distraction, ways to keep attention _off_ of Tony, and then there’s a loud crash. He turns, sees Clint moving away from the refreshments table, sees Darcy sitting in the middle of watermelon and strawberries and broken glass.

To her credit, she doesn’t even glare at Clint, instead keeping the crowd’s attention on her. Phil winces as she cuts open her hand, and makes a mental note to ask Fury to give Darcy a raise.

Clint appears by his side. 

“Was that strictly necessary?” Phil says, disapproval filtering through his voice.

Clint shrugs. “It was convenient,” he says, unrepentant. “She understands. I’ll buy her lunch tomorrow.”

Phil says nothing more, because Clint’s right, it _is_ convenient, Darcy has played her part perfectly, and now they can focus on Tony.

By the time they get to the poolside, Tony is sitting in a chair, shivering, with Steve crouched beside him. Pepper is hovering anxiously, looking torn between taking Tony into her arms and giving him his space. Bruce is standing calmly (of course) to the side, breathing carefully, watching his friend. Thor has taken it upon himself to pace back and forth, glaring at anybody who passes. Natasha is discreetly positioned between the others and the rest of the party, and Phil is willing to bet she’s planning twelve different ways to make the girls who pushed Tony in the pool absolutely miserable.

“I’m _fine_ ,” Tony says irritably, as Phil reaches him. “You can all stop walking on eggshells, now.” But he’s still a little pale, and flashbacks are no joke. Phil presses his lips together, though, and lets it slide, because he suspects what Tony wants most right now is to regain his dignity.

“All right,” Phil says, “But let’s get back to the house. It’s movie night.”

“Also,” Clint pipes up, “I told Darcy that someone would pick her up from the hospital.”

“Darcy’s in the hospital?” Tony asks, sounding alarmed.

“Yeah,” Clint says casually. “I sort of pushed her into the fruit display as a distraction, and then she put her hand in some broken glass to give us more time.”

Tony groans. 

“It’s a gesture of incredible fondness,” Clint says. “Be flattered.”

*          *          *

Darcy makes it back to the mansion just in time for movie night.

They’re watching _Aladdin_. 

“Really?” Darcy says. “ _Aladdin_?”

Tony shrugs, and Darcy’s relieved to see that he seems to be back to himself. “Steve hasn’t seen it yet, and Genie was always one of my favorites.”

“Abu is the best,” Darcy agrees, and sinks into the couch closest to the door, pulling Bruce with her. 

Jane goes to sit in Thor’s lap, as usual.

“It’s starting,” Steve says, “Shhhh.” He has this adorable thing about needing silence at the beginning of a movie.

They all fall quiet, and J.A.R.V.I.S. dims the lights.

*          *          *

It’s well past midnight when Darcy wakes up. She takes a quick head count around the room, and, huh, it’s weird the habits you develop when you regularly babysit a team of superheroes.

Bruce is snoring lightly by her side. Jane and Thor are sickeningly sweetly snuggled together. Phil’s leaning against Clint’s shoulder, both of them soundly asleep. Natasha is curled against Steve, and Pepper is sleeping on his other side. 

Tony is nowhere to be seen.

Darcy considers her options here. She only has two, really- stay in the room with the others, or go after Tony.

She figures she can at least _check_ on him, so she gently extracts herself from under Bruce’s arm, and slips out of the room.

Following a hunch, she goes to her room (which is on the top floor), and shimmies her way onto the roof. It’s not hard; she’s spent plenty of nights on her family home’s roof with her siblings. 

She’s pleased to find Tony sitting where she thought he’d be. It’s something she’s noticed. When Tony’s really upset, as in upset enough to not want to work himself to death, he goes for high ground. Like Clint. 

He doesn’t move when she goes to sit next to him, doesn’t even twitch when she lays her head on his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she says. 

“You shouldn’t come up here,” Tony says. “It’s dangerous. You could fall off, and this isn’t some two story house that you can fall off of and walk away with a broken bone.”

“I’ll take my chances,” Darcy says, shrugging. 

There’s a comfortable silence for some time, and then Tony says, “It hasn’t been that bad in a long time. It was just the water, and I wasn’t expecting it, and I breathed in while I was under, and after that-”

“Nobody thinks you the weaker for it,” Darcy says bluntly. “Nobody, least of all anyone on this team, will ever think you weaker for your past.”

Tony shrugs. “I know that,” he says, “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“Fair enough,” she says.

“By the way,” Tony says, “Thanks.” 

Darcy grins. “Thank Clint. I can honestly say it wasn’t my idea.”

“You’re the one who put your hand in broken glass.”

“Yeah, well, no guts, no glory. Oh, wait. There’s no fucking glory in having all the paparazzi in Malibu taking pictures of you sitting in the middle of watermelon slices.”

Tony laughs, really laughs, and Darcy gives herself a mental pat on the back.

*          *          *

The next day finds the team huddled around Tony’s laptop, laughing at the pictures of Darcy.

“Not amused,” Darcy says, but it’s a lie. It is totally amusing, and she’s always been able to laugh at herself.

“That’s odd,” Bruce says dryly. “It says here that two ladies claim that they were assaulted and robbed as they were walking to their ride from the party.”

“Oh?” Clint is grinning from ear to ear.

“Mhmm,” Bruce says. “They claim that a mysterious figure appeared in front of them, and without a word, proceeded to attack them. Both ladies sustained a broken nose before getting knocked unconscious, and when they came to, their belongings were gone.”

“How insulting,” Natasha says. “As if their belongings were worth taking.”

Steve looks at her sternly. “Natasha-”

She gives him a sweet smile. “No permanent damage. Promise.”

She ruffles Tony’s hair on her way out of the kitchen, which is practically a declaration of love from Natasha.

“She _does_ like me,” Tony crows gleefully.

“дурак,” Natasha calls back, but they all hear the undercurrent of fondness in her voice.

Darcy takes a bite of her toast and grins. Life could be worse.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Natasha calls Tony an idiot, at the end. I think. I'm studying Italian, not Russian.


End file.
